Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I think that last post was confusing some kitties. I was talking about the photos for the cat calendar. The 5 photos I'm trying to pick from are 3 posts down. Catster's contest is going until Nov 16.

But I'm glad you voted for my catster pictures!!!! Thanks!!!!!!

Hee, hee, the two that got the most votes are the two I was most sure I wanted, but I've got a tie for third place. I'm sending #1 and #4 but do I send #2 or #3 as the third?

Oh, and I want to remind all black kitties to be especially careful tonight, that nobody cat-naps you!

Late AND Early

I missed Midnight Monday! Oh, well, Happy Halloween, or Samhain, whichever you celebrate!

Don't worry, my OTW didn't break her promise not to dress me up anymore, she took this last month when she tried it on me for a costume. (Note to OTW, you can't borrow costumes from the teddy bears. They don't fit. Even if you CAN get them on me.)
And thanks to everyone who helped me pick which photos to send for the calendar. It anyone else wants to vote, I won't be sending them until tonight so there's still time.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

oh MY!!!!!!!

Mao!! Rocky!!!! You gotta make more Vishus Deer repellant!!! We have a vishus deer emergency!!!

The Big one nearly got KILLED by a vishus deer on the way home from work!! And it was less than a block from my apartment!!!!!

It was lurking in the middle of the road, waiting for the juicy young kitties that wander the streets around here, and the Big One even had to put on the screechy brakes!

That's WAAAAAY too close for comfort!


In other news, the OTW put out my surfcarpets! And she even put them in the bathroom at the end of the long hall, so I can get a really good running start to surf on them!

Please remeber to vote on the pictures in the last entry so I know which ones to send for the calendar. Thanks!

(oh and speaking of voting, I forgot to mention, I'm in Catster's Coolest Cats contest.
  • Could you please vote for me?
  • I give up

    I give up. I tried and tried and tried to pick just three pictures, and my OTW was helping me, and even got the Big One to help until he started sighing and rolling his eyes every time we asked, and we still can't pick just three for the calendar. So could you all help me?

    I picked 5.






    Which should I pick?

    OH! And see the really cool graphic KC got her mom to make for my pamphlet?

    And Thank You KC's mom for helping my OTW figure out how to put it there at the side!

    Oh, and the OTW updated my links, FINALLY!!! Can you believe she's left it so long I didn't even have SKEEZIX in my links!!!! And he made me President of his Frends Of Skeezix Club Canadian chapter! I'm so embarrassed!

    If you're still missing from my links list let me know, and I'll add you. I've come to visit all your blogs, and if I still haven't commented on yours it's probably only because there are Nonny Mouse-posts in the way and I haven't been able to slay them yet.

    But I WILL!!!!!!!!!

    Saturday, October 28, 2006

    Just a quick one again

    I have to do this quick because the OTW is bugging me to let her turn off the computer so she can go to bed (AFTER hogging it all day! To write an essay! She's not even in school anymore!)

    Do any of you kitties or kitty's persons know how to add a link to the side bar? I want to add a link to my Vishus Deer of the North pamphlet under my profile so other kitties can always find it if they need it, but I don't understand a lot of this computer stuff, and the OTW looked at it and she said it made her head all spinny.

    It's been a good day other than not getting to go on the computer. My OTW played with me a LOT today, with the fev-verbutt without-the-mousie tied to my guts! I mean LOTS and LOTS!!! She kept muttering rude things at the computer, and then I'd meow and look cute and she'd smile and wiggle the guts at me!!!! She can't resist me! It was so much fun!!!

    AND she says she's going to call about a little black boy-kitten just brought in at the nearest SPCA tomorrow, so I may get a kitten after all!!!

    If you can help with the linky thing, my OTW says you can e-mail my e-mail address at jackofallshadesandshadows@hotmail.com


    Wednesday, October 25, 2006

    Vishus Deer of the North- An Educational Pamphlet

    As promised, my "Vishus Deer of the North" educational pamphlet.

    Warning! Many of the pictures are graphic and may frighten young kitties. But education is vital to saving their lives!

    There are several types of Vishus Deer living in the North.

    The most common type of vishus deer where I live are Mule Deer. We also have White-Tailed Deer, which look mostly the same to me.

    Pair of Mule Deer

    Mule Deer live in most habitats in their range. This means they're sneaky and adaptable. And everywhere! They can live in mountains, deserts, forests, and grasslands, even your neighbourhood! Mostly they live in western North America.

    These are a smaller type of deer and feed mostly on young, juicy cats, as they aren't big enough to catch and digest the older, tougher ones.

    The second type of vishus deer is the Elk. These are a much larger type of vishus deer, the largest type of vishus deer beside Moose.

    Pair of Elk

    As you can see from the picture, they have many many sharp points on their horns. These vishus deer are clearly large enough that even big strong older cats are at risk. And they really do live everywhere! All over North America! They live mostly in the mountains, grasslands and forests. Luckily for cats, they don't come to cities and towns so much. Though there was that one video of a dog who was friends with one of these vishus deer. Country kitties beware.

    What's really crazy is up north here; some farmers HERD these vishus deer! Just like they were COWS! My Opposable Thumb Wench, who was most unfortunately born human, says that clearly, living far north, the cold gets into your brain and makes you crazy!

    The third type of vishus deer is the caribou, also known as reindeer.

    A Reindeer (Caribou)

    You will notice in the picture that the points of these vishus deer's horns are not sharp. DO NOT let this fool you, Kitties! If you look again you will see that while they are not sharp, reindeer horns are shaped in a way that makes it easy for them to catch a cat and tangle them all up. What's even worse is that these cat-catching horns are grown by both boy-reindeer, AND girl-reindeer!!!

    Centuries ago, the neighbours of the brave viking humans, the Sami, herded these vishus deer. The viking humans thought the Sami were crazy. I'm not surprised. The Sami lived even further north than the viking humans did. I've heard that some of the Sami still herd vishus reindeer, but I never believed anyone would do such a crazy thing, until I moved up north here, and saw what crazy things humans living really far north do.

    Most of you kitties reading this, can take heart however, as these vishus reindeer only live way up north. Even further north than me! Like up at the North Pole where Santa lives. There used to be southern vishus reindeer down here in the Boreal forest region where I live, but they've mostly died out. Maybe there were brave vikings here who hunted them all, before going crazy and herding vishus elk-deers.

    The last type of vishus deer is the Moose. These guys are HUGE!!!! Like, bigger than your people's machines that take you to the V-E-T! Taller than your man-people!!!

    A boy-moose and a girl-moose

    These are the worst type of vishus deer! They have horns that skewer cats AND scoop them up!!!

    Vishus moose-deer have very long legs. They run kind of funny compared to the graceful, deadly run of the normaller types of vishus deer, but they're very very fast! Especially when hunting juicy young kitties! (They are really really big, and they can hunt any kind of kitties with ease, but juicy young cats are their favourite.) Even the young mooses are dangerous and huge!

    A young boy-moose

    These vishus moose-deers are mostly a concern to cats living in Canada and New England and the Rocky Mountains. They mostly like forests because big trees are the only things big enough for them to hide behind while they lurk in wait for juicy cats, or the occasional stray human (especially the young juicy humans).

    Even humans recognize the danger of these vishus moose-deers. A group of vishus moose-deers is called a gang, and they put up warning signs on roads were moose like to hang out and hide in the trees, so the humans know to lock their machine doors, and not let any vishus moose-deers hit their cars, or they'll die!

    A couple of Human vishus moose-deer warning signs.

    Remember everycat, these are very dangerous creatures, armed with horns. If you see one DO NOT APPROACH IT! Tell your human, or post a warning to the Frends of Skeezix "Vishus Deer Nayburhood Watch Groop" on Catster.

    Thank you, and stay safe!


    Viking Kitty
    Vishus Deer Hunter
    Artist's Model

    Tuesday, October 24, 2006

    Monday, October 23, 2006

    Midnight Monday

    Just a quick one, as I'm currently working on my educational pamphlet "Vishus Deer of the North" and continuing investigation into the Nonny Mouse-Posts. You will be SHOCKED, Cats!!!!

    This first picture is of me on my perch beside the desk at our last apartment in Vancouver. We lived at the bottom of a mountain, surrounded by woodlots. This was where I saw my first vishus deer. I was sitting there one day and suddenly there were two vishus deer! Across the road from my house! You can even see the place they were lurking!

    They were acting all nonchalant, nibbling on leaves, pretending like they didn't even see me, but I knew they did, and they were just waiting to EAT ME! But I stared at them with my laser beam eyes and they stayed on the other side of the road. Which was good, because my apartment was near the ground and they could have gotten me just by stretching their necks up to my window! It was then I decided to become a vishus-deer hunter.

    Saturday, October 21, 2006

    Nonny Mouse-Posts

    It seems Blogger is plagued by a terrible pest! A most horrific thing, and it must be pounced!!!
    The dreaded NONNY MOUSE-POSTS!!!!!!!!

    These horrifying monuments are up blocking the paths to our friends and are clearly being erected by mice! Just witness their unrelenting beady stare, and their tempting jingly bits! We are being LURED, cats!

    Be watchful!

    Ok, now I'm worried. What if she IS buttering me up?

    Wait.... I LIKE butter! Wouldn't buttering up be a good thing?

    Luxor, the Big One says he doesn't think you could ship your toys across the border, 'cause the border woofies would go all nuts and stuff, and think we were mailing drugs if they smell like nip.

    I don't think they smell the same, but Grumpybutt, the Drug-sniffing Cat, seems to think pots smell the same as nip, 'cause the people who used to live here left little baggies of stuff stuffed in the cat-warmers on the floor, and he kept digging them out and putting the bite on 'em and scattering it all over the floor and rolling in it. 'Cept I thought pots were what the people cook the people food in. I'm very confused.

    I don't think you want the fev-ver boa anyway. At least not my fev-ver boa, it seems to have a monster living in it. I think it may be related to the blanket monster and the curtain monster, but I'll have to hunt and pounce it more to be sure.

    The fresh guts and the eyeballs get a five paw rating, though. Even Grumpybutt likes them.

    I have to go, I have to go and look at more pictures of me. My OTW takes SQUILLIONS! I'm trying to pick just a few for Grr and Midnight and Cocoa's calendar, and the OTW has been hogging the computer.

    Wednesday, October 18, 2006

    OH! OH! OH!

    My OTW LOVES me!!!!!!!
    Lookit! Fresh guts! An' EYEBALLS!!!!

    And then she gave me some silk for my box! It's not the RED silk, but it is black, which is ok too. And she gave me a FEV-VER BOA!!!!!!!!!

    She went out really really really early (for her) this morning and she was gone from Still Dark, to Early Dark, and she must have been hunting all day, because she was really tired when she came home and she was limping. (But she got better, after she sat down).

    Tuesday, October 17, 2006

    Tuxie Tuesday

    I don't know why I keep putting up pictures of Grumpybutt in my blog, but I wanted to show you all the apology HE got for the OTW almost trying to put a costume on him. Meh! She barely TOUCHED him with the shirt, and he gets nip. I WORE the thing, and I got NOTHING!

    You can't see it so well when the pictures go all small, but there's bits of nip all around his mouth in the third picture. Hmpf.

    Monday, October 16, 2006

    Midnight Monday

    So it's Midnight Monday again, and I thought I'd give you a picture of my other halloween costume. This is the one that I would have entered if I decided I just wouldn't put up with the viking costume.
    This is me as a Jack-in-the-Box. I love boxes, and this one is now the the bestest box ever (at least it was until the OTW took back her table cloth). That red fabric setting off my fur so well is silk satin!
    The fluffy thing around my neck is one of my leis. I love these, they're so great to kick and bite, and pounce and stuff. I have three, but one isn't really good for this kind of costume. The green one would have matched my eyes better, but I thought I should use the pink in honour of Skeezix!
    And below is a extra picture just for fun, of me enjoying one of the new games there were for me at the new house; hunting the curtain monster!

    I hope everyone had a good All Cats Day yesterday! And KC says today is Feral Cat Day, so Happy Feral Cat Day to KC and all the other feral and ex-feral kitties out there!

    I was going to list them all, but there are a LOT of you! I keep getting comments from other kitties about how brave I am to battle vishus deer and go a-viking, but I never lived outside, I've been with my OTW since I was born, and I never go out without her! You feral and ex-feral kitties are the REAL brave ones!

    Saturday, October 14, 2006

    Costume Photoshoot

    This is a picture of me sitting on my reindeer skin rug. I wanted it in my costume picture so you could see what a fierce hunter I am, but it really doesn't show off my costume at all.

    This was the Opposable Thumb Wench's favourite pose. But she said the background looked silly and since she doesn't have a real Photoshop, just a pretend one, she couldn't fix it. I'll say it's a pretend Photoshop! She never even got out of her chair!

    This was my favourite pose. I think it really shows off my fierciosity, all hunched and ready to pounce. But it doesn't show off the finer details of my costume well. You can barely see my leather belt, and my giant Powerful Viking pin that holds my fine linen cloak (red, my favourite!) around my fierce Viking shoulders is completely hidden. I look a bit windswept and ready for battle, don't you think?

    We tried to get Grumpybutt to join in but he wasn't having any of it. It suck, 'cause the OTW was going to make him a monk's robe and I was going to raid his monastery. I don't know how though, since we don't have any stairs, and he doesn't go to the ones in the Out, so how could he claim any as 'mine'? When we did the second photoshoot with a proper backdrop for me, we persuaded him to put on my cloak so he could look like a berserker Viking.

    I'm still pretty sure I don't like wearing costumes. I don't think I'm going to let my OTW pick me up anymore today, just in caase she gets any ideas.

    Friday, October 13, 2006

    I found my guts!!!!

    No word yet on a new kitten, but I had a good day yesterday. The Opposable Thumb Wench was digging in a box of my toys from when we moved and found my guts back! And the butt fev-vers off a toy I never liked too!

    Bestest of all, she tied the fev-vers to the end of the guts! See?!?

    I'm very good at hunting guts! You can't tell with the picture small like this, but both my front paws are in the air.

    Even Grumpybutt got in on the action!

    And then she found the Dead-Mousie-onna-string. She didn't get many pictures of me with it, but Grumpybutt sure was getting into it. You can just kind of see it in his mouth. It's white and tan.

    Today wasn't as good. She dressed me up in a silly costume for Skeezix and maybe HOTmBC's Halloween costume parties. I don't think I like dressing up in costumes. I was mostly good, but only let her take a couple pictures before I decided I wanted it off. Grumpybutt growled at her when she tried to put my shirt on him so she gave him some nip to say sorry and said she woldn't bother with a costume for him.
    Hmpf. She didn't say sorry to me. I got her back even before she put the costume thing on me, though. I sat and stared at her until she chased me off, then I came back and sat somewhere else and stared until she chased me off, and then I did it again. She was getting a funny look in her eyes then, so I had a nap. She played with me a bunch later though

    Not a bad day. And I look very fierce in my costume even if I didn't like it.


    Yesterday, the OTW went out for a little bit, and came home smelling like kittens!!!

    Do you think maybe she was out hunting my christmas present?!?

    Thursday, October 12, 2006

    Links are up!

    The OTW figured out the links thing, so I've linked to everyone's who's come by and said hello.

    If you're not on the links, say hello and I'll add you too!

    Especially girl kitties! Wow! there's a lot of beautiful girl kitties out there! I haven't been around girl kitties since I lived with my girlfriends Mischief and Mayhem when I was 4.

    Maybe the OTW will get me a girl kitten....

    Wednesday, October 11, 2006

    I've been trying to visit everyone who has come by to say hello, and I've gotten to all your blogs and read the latest at least, but the Opposable Thumb Wench says I can't hog the 'puter all day so I haven't been able to comment and say hello at everyone's blog yet. I will though. I promise.

    There 's a few kitties I tries to leave comments for that I can't, though. Sammy and Miles, you guys are one of them And Nero and Sidney too. I can't comment logged in until Blogger fixes their problems, and I can't comment a nonny mousely (what's a nonny mouse? the OTW just snickered and said "The Bunny was one step away from Hey Nonny Nonny before someone called the police, and snickered some more)

    And I'll get my OTW to add links to everyone as soon as she figures out how.

    In the meantime, here's a picture of me where you can see my sneaky stripeys. And my kill. I hunted that fierce jingly ball all over the room, and licked it good. Bunny-kicked it too until in submitted.

    Now since I can't have the computer anymore, I'll go sit under Fort Chair.

    Talk to you guys tomorrow.

    Tuesday, October 10, 2006

    Tuxie Tuesday

    I'm not a tuxie but Grumpybutt is. He doesn't have a blog, cause mostly all he does is nap. In really weird positions.

    I want a kitten.

    I understand it's Midnight Monday, for us cats of supreme gorgeousness. This picture is from one of my photo shoots where I pose for my Opposable Thumb Wench. She says it's for her art, because my handsome black fur makes for good cat shapes, but I'm beginning to suspect it's really for her private collection of black cat fetish photos......

    Sunday, October 08, 2006

    There we go. Maybe it'll work this time. My OTW is not very skilled in this computer stuff. Sigh.

    My OTW is trying to figure out how to post my photo in my profile. Please don't mind the mess she makes of it.

    Hello Blogging World

    I'm still a little 'spicious of this 'puter thingie, but my Opposable Thumb Wench (OTW) said there were cats who blog, and she spends a lot of time reading about them instead of scritching me and rubbing my belly and giving me laps so I thought I should check it out and I did, and I thought all the cats on the internet sounded interesting so I thought I should maybe try blogging too and if nothing else she might pay more attention to me if she has to read my blog too.

    Hi. I'm Jack. My really name is One-Eyed Jack, even though I've got two eyes. My OTW says it's because I was the first in my litter to open an eye and they had already named all my brothers. I'm also called a lot of other names like Sprat, Monster, Super Spy Kitty, and Come-Back-Here-You-Miserable-Little-Hellspawned-Imp-of-Satan (usually loudly).

    I'm a black domestic shorthair, but people tell me I look like a Burmese. I'm ten, and supposed to be an elderly kitty according to the vet, but I'm pretty sure I'm still a kitten. Nobody has beaten me at 2am Tag yet.

    I live with my OTW, and the Big One, who she says is the non-furry member of her harem, and another Cat she calls Whisper but I call Grumpybutt, cause he's Grumpy. A lot. And he doesn't like snuggling with me or let me groom him, which he should cause he gets yucky ears and the OTW has to clean them and that makes him even grumpier.

    The OTW told me a while back about the 5 weird things post everyone was doing so I thought I'd start with that.

    1. After every nap I come and find my OTW and tell her all about it and present my belly for rubbings.

    2. I'm not really black. I'm black and sable tabby striped, but you can't tell unless I'm in really bright sunlight. It's great camoflage. I can hide in shadows even better than a real black cat.

    3. I like rolling in catnip, but won't eat it. (I never inhaled!)

    4. I don't like ham. I don't like beef. I don't like chicken or turkey or bacon or anything. No bread, no ice cream. The only people food I like is berries and chocolate. And not the cheap kind of chocolate either. It has to be really expensive bittersweet imported European chocolate. But the OTW won't let me have more than a few licks.

    5. When I help my OTW with her art (which mostly involves fabric and string) I only like working with silk and linen and wool. Cotton is too common and those man-made fibres are just right out.

    Well that's me. Hello everyone.